47 Ronin (2013)
From ancient Japan's most enduring tale, the epic 3D fantasy-adventure 47 Ronin is born. Keanu Reeves leads the cast as Kai, an outcast who joins Oishi (Hiroyuki Sanada), the leader of 47 outcast samurai. Together they seek vengeance upon the treacherous overlord who killed their master and banished their kind. To restore honor to their homeland, the warriors embark upon a quest that challenges them with a series of trials that would destroy ordinary warriors. 47 Ronin is helmed by visionary director Carl Erik Rinsch (The Gift). Inspired by styles as diverse as Miyazaki and Hokusai, Rinsch will bring to life the stunning landscapes and enormous battles that will display the timeless Ronin story to global audiences in a way that's never been seen before.
Director: Carl Rinsch
Writers: Chris Morgan, Hossein Amini (screenplay)
Stars: Keanu Reeves, Hiroyuki Sanada, Ko Shibasaki, Rinko Kikuchi
PG-13,Run Time 2 hr. 7 min.
God this was bad and long over two hours of my life wasted on this, boring as a second grade class play (your child is not in), as humorless as your spouse on her period and about as Japanese as a Memphis BBQ Cookout in the deep south, the whole let's-mope-about-and-kill-ourselves samurai drama theme just comes off as boring as hell and is made worse by the god awful plot pacing.
The only thing even remotely interesting is the wry sensuality of Rinko Kikuchi as a spider-puking evil witch who can transform herself into a fox, a swathe of magic-carpet silk, or this month's second-most impressive movie dragon. There is is one sequence of amusing movie violence, complete with an array of impossible traps and tricks perfectly timed an executed to thin the enemies' ranks during the storming of the palace of the lord who banished and shamed them.
I give it two stars and surely do not recommend you waste any time watching it.