Scandalous and Risque

[Fogdude]

A guy comes out of a shop, on a dark street one night & sees a man across the street, under a streetlight, looking around at the ground. He walks over & asks, "Did you lose something?"
The other man says, "Yeah, I dropped a valuable ring & I'm looking for it."
The first guy says, "I'll be glad to help. Where did you drop it?"
The other guys says, "Over there, where you just came from."
The first guy is now puzzled & asks, "So... if you dropped it way over there, why in the world are you looking for it over here?"
The other guy looks at him, like he's stupid, & says,

Spoiler Block

"The light's better here."

[topmeasure]

[VincentLupo]

[Jazzy]

[Fogdude]

responsible.jpg (62.15 KiB) Viewed 1928 times

[Jazzy]

[chouette]

[Fogdude]

Well, they've finally done it!
VAGINA BEER!

[Jazzy]

Dude... you need help  

[Fogdude]

There's nothing more maddening, when helping someone with their computer, over the phone, than to be asked, EVERY TIME, when told to click something, "Left click or Right click?" IF I WANT YOU TO RIGHT CLICK, I'LL SAY RIGHT CLICK, otherwise when I say CLICK It's ALWAYS LEFT CLICK. There is NO such thing as LEFT CLICK. It's just CLICK! GaaaHHHH!!!!

[chouette]

Take a deep breath there Foggy, lol

[Jazzy]

Yeah!!!!   Have a seat for a few minutes.... It should pass...

[Fogdude]

35isenough.jpg (130.7 KiB) Viewed 1901 times

[topmeasure]

[Jazzy]

[Fogdude]

One day, the loneliness of a 70-year-old widow made her put an ad in the local newspaper that she wanted to marry again. It read:

“Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.”

The next day, the doorbell rang, and when she opened the door, she saw a gray-haired gentleman in a wheelchair, with no legs or arms.
She said: “You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you-you have no legs!”
The old man smiled gently, and replied: “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”
The old lady, still objecting, said: “You don’t have any arms either!”
This made the old man smile again: “Therefore, I can never beat you!”
Before the next question, the old lady raised her eyebrow and asked: “Are you still good in bed?”
The old man leaned back, and with a grin on his face, said:

Spoiler Block

“I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

[topmeasure]

[VincentLupo]

[Jazzy]

[chouette]

 

[Fogdude]

what.jpg (28.35 KiB) Viewed 1872 times

[topmeasure]

[Jazzy]

[stampe]

[Fogdude]

A man decided he wanted a pet, so he bought a goat & took it home.
His wife asked him, "Why a goat & where do you plan to have it sleep?"
He said, "Goats keep the yard trimmed & he can sleep with us, you're always complaining that your feet are cold & you know I hate it when you put your cold feet on me. The goat will keep your feet warm."
"Well,", she said, "I guess... but what about the smell?"
Her husband said,

Spoiler Block

"If I could get used to it, the GOAT can get used to it."