The Funhouse

by **Jazzy** » Apr Sat 29, 2017 11:41 pm

A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again." The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" Wait for it The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits ... I can splash it on my eyes if I need to!"

by **ctaulbee** » Apr Sat 29, 2017 11:49 pm

by **VincentLupo** » Apr Sat 29, 2017 11:58 pm

by **topmeasure** » Apr Sun 30, 2017 4:33 am

by **ctaulbee** » May Tue 02, 2017 1:19 pm

A blonde woman walks into a store and is immediately curious about a shiny object on sale. She asks the shop assistant, 'What is that?' The assistant responds, 'It's a thermos.' The blonde then asks, 'What does it do?' 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.' So the blonde buys one. The next day she brings the thermos to work with her. Her boss, also a blonde, asks, 'What is the shiny object?' 'It's a thermos.' 'What does it do?' 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.' Her boss then asks, 'What do you have in there?' The blonde replies, 'Two cups of coffee and a Popsicle.'

:dom:

by **Fogdude** » May Tue 02, 2017 2:27 pm

by **Jazzy** » May Tue 02, 2017 3:57 pm

by **VincentLupo** » May Tue 02, 2017 10:33 pm

by **topmeasure** » Jun Tue 06, 2017 4:42 pm

: Blondes.jpg (30.66 KiB) Viewed 2067 times

by **Jazzy** » Aug Thu 03, 2017 12:46 am

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation.
They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning – though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words.
She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.”
They throw the switch and nothing happens.
They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words.
“I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.”
They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.
Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.

The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.”

by **VincentLupo** » Aug Thu 03, 2017 2:01 am

by **ctaulbee** » Aug Thu 03, 2017 4:29 am

by **Fogdude** » Aug Thu 03, 2017 8:08 am

by **topmeasure** » Aug Thu 03, 2017 8:58 am

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

by **Jazzy** » Aug Thu 03, 2017 9:51 am

by **Wrench** » Aug Thu 03, 2017 2:02 pm

:duh; Maybe IDK is I drink kool-aid or maybe I Don't Know

by **Fogdude** » Aug Sat 12, 2017 12:53 pm

A blonde called her boyfriend & said, "Please come over here & help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle & I can't figure it out, or even how to get started."
Her boyfriend said, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's supposed to be a tiger."
Her boyfriend decided to go over & help. She let him in & showed him where she had the pieces spread all over the table.
He studied the pieces for a bit, looked at the box, then turned to her & said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything even remotely resembling a tiger."
Then, he took her hand & said, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate & then...," he sighed...

Spoiler Block

by **VincentLupo** » Aug Sat 12, 2017 1:40 pm

by **ctaulbee** » Aug Sat 12, 2017 3:09 pm

Now that was funny Foggy :-$

by **Jazzy** » Aug Sat 12, 2017 4:56 pm

by **Jazzy** » Oct Sun 29, 2017 11:33 pm

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin.
As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are…very slowly?”
The blonde leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrr gerrrrrr Kiiiing.”